Tag Archives: 7 things

My son’s 7 things

angrysandwich

Photo by Sakurako Kitsa

You’ve heard me talk about my elder son (Mr 18 yo). He was inspired to write his own 7 things, and I thought I’d reblog them here for some amusement.

By the way, he has inherited bombast and hyperbole from someone in the family, so don’t believe him when he says his parents made him learn piano. No parent can make a child study piano until they get their AMUS certificate.

7 Things

1. When I was in pre-school, I was convinced I was not a human being. The reason? We were read an environmental-themed book which showed “human beings destroying animals’ habitats”. Logic: human beings practise deforestation, I have never even thought about deforesting anything, ergo I am not a human being.

2. In the past week, I have been eaten by lift doors over a dozen times and almost lost my manhood to a scaffolding pole at a church clean-up

3. Russians don’t have middle names but rather patronymics so my full name is Alexander Petrovich Sheko (which is to say, “Alexander Sheko, son of Peter”). However, when I was young, I decided to rebel against the patriarchal system (you’re welcome, ladies) and called myself AlexanderTatianovich (Alexander, son of Tania).

4. At the age of three (or so), I had nightmares about a dragon chasing me around the backyard. Not just any dragon: the St George dragon. And I don’t mean the generic ectothermic creature of legend, but the dragon on the St George Bank logo. (Ironic twist: Last year I briefly worked for a sales company representing St George Bank)

5. I sing bass but because I have never had proper singing training, my range depends on the temperature, time of day and how long I have been singing. Usually the lowest note I can reach is D below the stave but it can go up to F if I’ve strained my voice. I once sang an A below the stave.

6. My parents made me learn the piano. At various points in time, I despised it and hated them for not letting me quit. I now have an Associate Diploma in piano, am being paid to play for a school musical (Cabaret) and enjoy playing every single day. I consider it a great blessing and one of the most rewarding aspects of my life.

7. A fundamental element of Russian culture is forcing children who have barely learned to speak to commit to memory large portions of poetry and recite them in front of large groups of people. At some point in my childhood, it was decided that it would be a good for my education (despite the fact I spoke very little Russian) for me to participate in this cultural treat and I learned some verses of a poem to recite at the annual Russian Culture Day. Unfortunately, I was sent on stage with a girl (half my age and height) who recited her poetry first. It never occured to me to adjust the microphone stand and I could not understand why several dozen Russians were laughing raucously at my attempt to combine poetry recitation with limbo.

These 7 things were originally posted in his blog under the pseudonym of Phillip Sandwich.

2 Comments

Filed under humour, Musing

7 things

Jenny Luca tagged me to participate in a meme.  The idea of this meme is to share seven things that your readers might not know about you.

Here are my seven things:

1.  My grandmother’s cousin was the well known pianist, Sviatoslav Richter. My grandmother held a childhood grudge against him since the time that he told her that people who weren’t musical shouldn’t exist.

2.  I worked temporarily for a pneumatic tool company, translating engineering texts from German into English and vice versa. I had no idea about engineering jargon – not in German or English.

3.  English is my second language. My first language was Russian. I went to preschool (Kindergarten in those days in Melbourne) with only a few words of English: please, thankyou, yes, no and toilet.

4.  In primary school, I made my best friend act out Brere Rabbit with me every Monday for 4 years. I was always Brere Rabbit, she was always Brere Fox and my sister had to be Tar Baby.

5.  I used to think if I concentrated hard enough I could go through the mirror into another world. I still wish I believed that.

6.  I really love things that sparkle. This is embarrassing so you won’t see any evidence of this around the house or on my person. Hang on, let me check…

7.  I have some sort of spatial disability. I lose all sense of direction when I go backwards from somewhere. If I come out of a shop, I always end up going back the way I came.

I tag the following people and apologize in advance if they’ve been tagged by someone already:

Nirvana Rose Watkins

Pam Thompson

Carey Pohanka

Cristina Costa

Keisa Williams

Hiram Cuevas

Susanne Nobles

Have a go if you have the urge…

10 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized